Which Thought Would Feel Better?

Thoughts create feelings. Anxiety thoughts create anxiety feelings. So when you’re feeling anxiety, you can be sure that you are having anxiety thoughts.

Ask yourself: What thought am I having right now that could be related to this anxiety? Write it down.

Then ask yourself: What different thought might feel at least a little bit better than that one? Write it down also. If fact, you might find multiple different thoughts that feel a little better.

Work on intentionally focusing on the thoughts that feel better. With practice, you will think better AND feel better!

What You Think About Stress Could Kill You

30+ years ago: Nobody ever connected stress to any physical issues. How could stress in your mind or your emotions ever effect your body? Don’t be silly.

More recently: Now we hear that stress contributes to (and exacerbates) MANY physical illnesses. And lots of research proves that.

2013-present: Emerging research is showing that your mindset about stress (in other words, what you think ABOUT stress) is really what causes the stress-illness connection.

UW-Madison study: Beliefs about stress matter most!

Kelly McGonigal, health psychologist and researcher at Stanford University, did a famous TED Talk in 2013 called “How to make stress your friend.”

She talks about a large-scale study by the University of Wisconsin-Madison of 30,000 participants who were followed over an eight-year period.

They asked people to rank their level of stress as low, moderate or high. They also asked the question: Do you believe stress is harmful for your health?

Then they used public death records to see which of the study participants actually died over the eight year period.

Bad news: Participants who had a high level of stress had a 43% increased chance of dying.

Surprising news: Here’s the kicker…. The 43% increased risk of dying was only true for people who believed that stress is harmful for your health!

• Participants with a high level of stress but who did not believe that stress was harmful to their health, had the lowest likelihood of death of anyone in the study (even lower risk than the people who reported the lowest levels of stress)!

What you think about stress matters! In fact, it matters more than your stress level itself!

What is your Stress Mindset?

What if you could think of stress as your body helping you rise to new challenges? What if you could think of physical symptoms of anxiety, such as changes in heart rate and breathing, as helpful to you?

Stress Mindsets are general beliefs about the nature of stress.

• A “stress-is-enhancing” mindset means you tend to believe that stress has the effect of enhancing performance, health and well-being.
• A “stress-is-debilitating” mindset refers to the belief that stress is dangerous, and should be feared because one may not have the internal resources to meet the external pressures.

People with a “stress-is-enhancing” mindset see day to day life stressors as challenges for which they have adequate resources to meet expected demands. Stressors can be seen as opportunities to grow, learn or step up ones game. Stress is seen as a challenge instead of a big problem to be avoided.

A 2013 study of employees at a large financial institution showed that those who had a stress-is-enhancing mindset enjoyed:

• greater life satisfaction
• reduced anxiety
• less depression
• increased optimism
• increased resilience
• increased mindfulness

What do you think?

Recent research suggests that your attitude and beliefs matter a lot. This is not to say that too much stress is somehow healthy.

Can you change the stressors in your life to achieve more happiness? If you think you can’t change the stressors in your life, I challenge you to challenge that assumption. Often times you do have more control over stressors than you think you do.

However, if you’re clear that you can’t change the external… you CAN change the internal – your own mindset about stress. Why not give it a try?

How To Do Mindfulness

Have you been hearing a lot about Mindfulness lately?

It’s gaining in popularity as a way to reduce stress and anxiety and increase happiness.

Wellness Counseling with Di PhilippiMindfulness is a way of being. It involves focus and attention on only what is happening in the here and now. It’s about attentive awareness of the present moment without judgement.

You’d be surprised how many moments of your day go by WITHOUT your conscious attention to the here and now.

Ever had a time when you were driving and suddenly realized you missed or almost missed a turn? Or that you were further along the road than you realized because you were driving on auto-pilot? At times like that, the body and the mind are doing two different things. Mindless.

I like to think of Mindfulness as your Mind and Body in same place at same time doing the same thing. Your body can only be in the here and now; but your mind can be all over the place.

How to do it?

People often ask me how to “do Mindfulness”… is it meditation or what?

While there are mindfulness meditations you can do, it is a way of being so you do not need to meditate to be mindful. You can start with mindful awareness of your sensory experiences. You can use your senses of: Sight, Hearing, Taste, Smell, Touch.

Here are just a few strategies for beginners to get an experience of mindfulness:

Eat a Raisin

Here is one simple way to experience and practice mindfulness using your mouth and your sense of taste:

Eat one raisin…mindfully. Take 4 minutes to pick up, look at, eat, taste and mindfully experience that raisin. Try to chew it at least 250 times! It is possible!

Notice everything you can about that raisin-eating experience… taste, texture, saliva production, how your tongue and teeth move, how you swallow, etc.

Mindful Listening

1. Sit still and bring your attention to what you can hear right now. You’ll probably notice that one noise jumps out at you – perhaps the loudest or most annoying.

2. Now, listen hard for what else you can hear at the same time. Closing your eyes can help. Do your best to divide your attention equally between every noise that you can hear. This will probably be challenging at first.

3. Notice when one particular sound has taken up your full attention, or when your mind simply wanders. Bring your attention back to all the noises and focus again on dividing your attention among all of them equally.

Do this for a few minutes and then notice how you feel compared to when you started.

Sitting Mindfulness Meditation

Science shows mindfulness and meditation help reduce anxiety. There are many, many techniques. This one is from Dr. Mark Hyman.

Instructions:

Meditating - Di Philippi, Holistic Anxiety Therapist, Wellness Counseling Milwaukee

Be aware of your posture!

Sit in a comfortable position. Try to sit in the same place each day. Avoid positions that you might fall asleep in.

a. The back is long and supports itself.

b. Shoulders are relaxed downward, the neck is long, and the chin is pointing neither up nor down.

c. The face is relaxed.

Begin to breathe (preferably through the nostrils). Feel the belly rise, the ribs expand, and the slight movement in the collarbones and shoulders as the breath moves upward. Feel the exhalation.

Focus on one aspect of the breath.

a. The movement of air in and out of the nostrils.

b. Or the lifting and falling of the belly.

Watch that one aspect of the breath.

a. When the mind wanders, gently bring it back to the breath and the aspect you have chosen to watch.

b. Do this as many times as you need to.

c. There is no such thing as a good or bad meditation. (Good and bad are judgments, events in the mind – just note them and go back to the breathing.)

Start with 5–10 minutes and then increase the time until you can sit for 30 minutes.

OCD Interview

I was recently interviewed by a local university for an article about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). This Q&A explains the basics of OCD and the effective, non-medication treatment that works for OCD.

Question 1: What is the biggest misconception you’ve heard and/or seen about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?

Misconception #1: Many people believe OCD has to include compulsive behaviors like hand-washing or excessive cleaning. Truth be told, I actually see more OCD in the form of obsessive and intrusive thoughts than I do with the classic compulsive behaviors.

Misconception #2: There’s a misconception that people must live with anxiety their whole lives, or that they must take medication for it for their whole lives. That is not true! [READ MORE HERE]. The neural pathways in the brain which create anxiety and obsessive thinking can be changed. Thus, the root cause of anxiety can be addressed and resolved.

The answer: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can provide long-term, preventative relief from anxiety/OCD (see Question 6 below).

Question 2: From your experience with treating OCD, what seems to be the biggest trigger for the people who suffer?

OCD can look very different for different people so it is difficult to generalize. People with OCD suffer from repetitive (and often disturbing) thoughts that they can’t seem to get out of their heads – these are Obsessions. These thoughts, and the inability to “let it go,” can cause a lot of anxiety.

Sometimes that anxiety creates an urge for people to repeatedly perform certain behaviors or routines – these are Compulsions. The urge to do the behaviors is an attempt to try to ease their anxiety.

Some people with OCD have obsessions only, while others have both obsessions and compulsive behaviors.

Most people who have OCD are aware that their obsessions and compulsions are irrational, yet they feel powerless to stop them which actually increases anxiety.

Common obsessive thoughts include:

• fear of a detrimental error by overlooking something
• worry about things being in proper order
• fear of harming someone
• feeling over-responsible for others
• worries about germs or illness

Common compulsive behaviors include:

• hand-washing
• counting
• arranging things
• cleaning
• checking and re-checking things (like did I forget anything?)

Question 3: OCD is often labeled a “mental illness.” Do you agree with this label?

I hate the label “mental illness” because some people attach a stigma to it…and that causes people to avoid getting treatment that could lead them to a happier life. At least 40 million American adults suffer from anxiety, but only about one-third of those seek help, even though anxiety is highly treatable without medication.

Like other types of anxiety, OCD involves what I call “a thinking problem” or “anxiety thinking.” There is a problem with the thinking process and in that respect it could be considered mental as opposed to physical illness.

The great news is that thinking problems can be corrected! Neuroscience research shows that the brain can reconfigure itself and learn new and more effective ways of thinking when trained to do so.

Question 4: Do you believe that people are born with OCD, or is it something that develops over time?

Research supports the understanding that OCD involves problems with the brain circuitry that causes anxiety thinking. No one knows for sure all the factors that could be involved in development of anxiety/OCD. Possible factors include perhaps genetic predisposition, perhaps learned behavior when kids grow up in a family where adults have anxiety, perhaps an illness, or even ordinary life stressors.

Question 5: How are patients diagnosed?

During an assessment, I look at whether a person has obsessions and/or compulsions, but the biggest factor in diagnosis is whether these thinking problems and behaviors cause a real problem in the person’s life.

I always say there’s not a problem unless there’s a problem. I’m looking to see whether the thoughts and/or behaviors are creating a problem with the person’s daily routine, job, school, relationships, social activities, or other activities the person values.

Question 6: What types of treatments are available to patients who suffer from OCD? Is there one particular treatment that seems to be more effective?

Extensive scientific research and my own clinical experience demonstrate that the most effective long-term solution for anxiety/OCD is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

CBT is a very specific sort of non-medication treatment that is focused on correcting the anxiety thinking that is underlying the obsessions and compulsions. It helps people learn different and more accurate, effective ways of thinking – this can significantly reduce or eliminate obsessions and compulsions.

CBT is very focused on teaching people new tools and techniques for changing old thinking patterns and old behavior patterns. To address the behaviors associated with OCD compulsions, exposure treatment is often included in CBT.

Exposure and response prevention (ERP) is a systematic way of gradually exposing people to the things/situations that cause anxiety while teaching them new ways to respond (eliminating the need for compulsive behavior).

Question 7: Do you think OCD can be cured?

The concept of a “cure” really means correcting the thinking problems and the anxiety thinking that are underlying the obsessions and compulsions. Yes! These thinking processes can be successfully changed with CBT.

Question 8: How did you become a therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders such as OCD?

I decided to specialize in holistic solutions for anxiety because so many people have been told they have to live with anxiety for their whole lives…or that they have to take medications for their whole lives. It is my mission to dispel this myth!

People don’t realize that is completely possible to get rid of all kinds of anxiety. They haven’t been education to understand that anxiety is caused by processes in the brain that they can learn how to change. They just need to learn the effective tools to use. I’ve seen so many people literally change their lives with CBT and holistic tools and techniques that treat anxiety.

Notice You’re Alright Right Now

This strategy was adapted from Rick Hanson, Ph.D., a neuropsychologist and author of the best-selling Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom.

Take a close look at this moment, right now. You are probably alright.

Anxiety is always about either:

a) the future (worries and “what if” thoughts), or

b) the past (dwelling on what happened, second-guessing, etc)

Reduce anxiety by intentionally dwelling on the NOW. In this one single moment, are you alright? It may not be perfect, or ideal. You may feel some pain in the now (physical or emotional). But are you safe and OK and basically alright just for this one moment of now?

You are probably alright. Right now. Use this strategy many times throughout your day to bring yourself back into the peace of the present moment.

10 MORE Great Ways to Love Yourself

Last February I wrote about Loving Yourself and it was so popular I decided to add 10 more ways to love yourself this year….

Gifts that Say I Love You to Yourself

1. Rest. My Vipassana meditation teacher from Burma says (in his Burmese accent): “Take Rest, Take Rest, Take Rest.” Whether it be sleep or a 2 minute break, rest is a gift to yourself so…Take it!

2. Self-compassion. Are you harder on yourself than you are on everybody else? Stop beating yourself up. Treat yourself with the same kindness, care, and support that you would offer to another person that you care about.

3. Schedule fun. Make a list of 20 things you think are fun. Then put them into your calendar and make your fun just as important (or even more important!) as all your other appointments.

4. Make a list and check it twice. Sit down and don’t get up until you’ve listed 10 things you love about yourself. If it’s very easy, then make it 20.

5. Let learning be enough. Forgive yourself for past mistakes or errors in judgment. Hindsight truly is 20/20 so take the lessons away from past mistakes and they will help you move forward. Self-forgiveness is the antidote to guilt, self-blame and self-criticism.

6. Stand up for yourself. Know that your needs and opinions matter. Be confident in asserting yourself and letting others know what is important to you. You’re worth it!

7. Practice being truly present. Learning how to be mindful adds more pleasure and meaning to life. Plus it reduces stress and anxiety. This is a continual practice. You don’t ever have to become an expert – you just need to keep practicing. Start with the intention to “be here now”… and practice.

8. Hang out with the best. Consciously choose to spend your precious time with people who lift you up, who treat you well, respect you, and accept you just the way you are.

9. Embrace this 4-letter word. H-E-L-P. Why do we think we are supposed to do everything on our own? Who made that rule? Asking for help is a sign of wisdom, not weakness. Help is what makes the world go around, and makes us feel connected. It is a gift knowing you don’t have to do it all alone.

10. Celebrate your successes. Acknowledge yourself for all accomplishments big and small. Writing them down in a success journal helps your brain to remember them and builds confidence. Read over your list regularly and see the proof in writing of how truly capable and amazing you are.

The 4 Minute Raisin

You’ve heard of mindfulness and research is clear that mindfulness helps reduce anxiety. But HOW can you be mindful?

Here is one simple way to experience and practice mindfulness: Eat one raisin…mindfully. Take 4 minutes to pick up, look at, eat, taste and mindfully experience that raisin.

Sound impossible or silly? Give it a try and get a taste of mindfulness – pun intended 😆 

Your Free Well-Being Toolkit

The Center For Healthy Minds in Madison, Wisconsin is a treasure with a national reputation.  The Center was founded by world renowned researcher  Dr. Richard J. Davidson.  We are blessed to have this leading edge research and resource in our local community. 

Their mission:  Cultivate well-being and relieve suffering through a scientific understanding of the mind.

Check out their many free online tools and meditations

Figuring Out What YOU Really Want

Anxiety treatment - Di Philippi, Brookfield, Milwaukee

In the midst of what can turn into a “crazy busy” season, the best way to have less stress is to put YOU smack dab on the top of your To Do List.

Think about what you really WANT this month…Not all the things you should do, not what others want you to do. Instead…ask yourself a few questions:

 

How would you like to feel during this holiday season?

What would you like to do just for YOU?

What would you like to NOT do?

Depending on your answers, I have a lot of creative ideas for you:

• If you want less pressure to have the “perfect” holiday, read THIS

• If you want to survive the holidays without sabotaging your healthy eating, check THIS out 

• To feel more gratitude during the season, read the 5 Ways to Practice Gratitude toward the end of this ARTICLE 

• For more peaceful feelings, try THIS

• If you want to smile more and experience FUN amidst the busy season, here are 6 Easy Tools 

• To escape commercialism, find more meaning, and get a warm-hearted feeling inside, try tip #4 or tip #6 HERE 

• To give yourself permission to slow down and relieve holiday pressures, read THIS 

• If you want to escape the craziness, then relax with THIS 5-minute Tool 

• To feel more connected with your loved ones, try THIS

• Want to give yourself the most meaningful and important gift for the New Year? Here’s HOW

Anxiety Treatment in Brookfied,Milwaukee

 

Wishing you all that you want this holiday season!

 

 

Do A Cost-Benefit Analysis

Many of the holistic anxiety-reduction techniques that I recommend are really pretty easy to learn and easy to do. But people often tell me they don’t have the time for it. Time becomes the barrier. I get that. We are living in a “crazy busy” time and we all have plenty to do.

Time is a cost, just as money is a cost. Even the time we spend earning money is a cost.

If you can layout both the costs and benefits of taking action (and then see how the benefits outweigh the costs), then you will be motivated to prioritize time and tasks differently. For example, I have one client who chose to make time for Mindful Belly Breathing Meditation – 2 times a day for 15 minutes each as I had recommended. That 30 minutes per day was a big cost. Today, she’s receiving so much benefit from it that she asked if it is OK to do it 3 times a day!

Comparing your costs to the benefits might be the motivation you need to take positive action… and start reaping the benefits.